every day is one step closer.
and i’m not exactly sure what that means.
every day i get up and look in the mirror. and while most people would expect me to say that i stand and evaluate who i am as a person and such.. you should know, that’s not what i look at. truth be told, the first thing i look at.. is my hair.
it’s ALWAYS my hair.
i can always tell by how i feel about my hair, how my day will pan out.
i’ve been insanely tired lately.
mentally, physically, emotionally. i’m not so sure if it’s because i’ve been working a lot, or because of school decisions, or guys, or friends. probably a combination of it all. regardless though, i’m tired.
i planned on running tonight. but it’s raining. and i don’t feel good. so i forewent that idea for sitting in my bed in sweat pants with my notebook.
well, actually. it’s a journal. danielle ross gave it to me for my 19th birthday. with an inscription in it.
“Kimberly, Fill this journal with your thoughts, prayers, hopes, dreams, and lyrics. Always know you can go as far as you want and past the expectations anyone has for you or you have for yourself. I <3 you. Happy 19th birthday. Love, your best friend, Dani Ross”
i can’t believe how much life has changed. not only in terms of myself as a person. but in terms of the people i love and have loved.
don’t get me wrong. i would never take anything that has happened back. i would never take back isaac’s friend card because i would never have gotten to know who he was as a person if it hadn’t happened. i wouldn’t take back robbie coming back around. i wouldn’t take back the growing friendships i have with jess and rachel and hannah and so many others.
but sometimes i wonder what things would be like had it all gone down differently, you know?
but maybe it’s best that i don’t know.
…. yeah, it’s probably best.
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